I don’t want to hear it, son
Friday, May 22nd, 2009How many times have I warned you to stay out of my personal space unless I have invited you? Now go tell your mother and get cleaned up!
News Flash
Thursday, January 8th, 2009San Joaquin Valley, California
A hiker from Sacramento was hospitalized last week with serious injuries. Emergency room doctors discovered 107 splinters lodged in his penis.
Other hikers in the area insisted that they have no idea as to what led up to the incident.
He was found unconscious under this tree.
My Lucky Hat
Monday, November 3rd, 2008My considerate, loving husband invited me to go hunting with him, and being the generous, thoughtful man that he is, he even gave me an ‘opening day’ present. I’m so lucky to be married to him. I never thought I’d find a husband so unselfish and willing to share his ‘guy time.’
Pass it over to me…
Thursday, October 30th, 2008Wow, dude… I went through your bag, man, and I found this little bag of green stuff. So I like totally ate it.
Awesome. Got any munchies? I can’t feel my tongue, like, bow wow de wow wow!
Repeat after me
Friday, September 12th, 2008“I will not complain about my job. I will not whine nor will I express my personal disdain to my associates, affiliates or supervisor. Today, I will be thankful for every irritation, distraction, and challenge.”
Photo credit
“Today, I am grateful.”
Change: A Disturbing Scene
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect wildlife in the US.
Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party. They have apparently learned to simply sit and wait for the government to provide for their care and sustenance.
I thee wed
Thursday, September 4th, 2008“Give to me your big banana,” she vowed.
And, we shall live happily ever until death do us part.
Read more about the Chinese wedding
Is your feline from outer space or involved in alien abductions?
Saturday, August 30th, 2008Have you ever suspected that your cat may be from another planet? Do you sometimes wake in the night to find your cat standing on top of you, peering into your face, as if poised to perform some diabolical extraterrestrial experiment? When you feed your cat, does he or she look up at you [...]
Is it working?
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008They said that all I had to do was give you puppy dog eyes and then you’d let me follow you home and that you’d keep me forever and ever and ever.
“I’ll hug you and kiss you and squeeze you and call you George.”
Keep on kegeling
Thursday, July 24th, 2008Hum or sing along to the tune “Moonlight Bay.”
We were drifting along on Moonlight Bay,
We could hear our abdomens screaming, they seem to say,
“You haven’t done your kegle exercises today, now don’t go ‘way!”
You’ve never lived until you’ve kegeled on Moonlight Bay.
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